Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this will be a night to untag.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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