I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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