JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
