My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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