I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The beer is more important than you right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
