It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
honey bunches of taint.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
