that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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