4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize