if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
