this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
