Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'

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(630): View more from Illinois

week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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(+27): View more from South Africa

A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.

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