i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
