Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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  (845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (1169)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  They should make Jack Daniels chap stick

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  (512): They should make Jack Daniels chap stick http://tfl.nu/3f21
  Replies (31) Good night (6212) Bad night (771)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (641)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

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  (314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w
  Replies (23) Good night (6923) Bad night (666)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

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  (908): fireball beer pong. youre missing out (732): how is that even possible? (908): ove gloves. (732): be there in ten. http://tfl.nu/dpvx
  Replies (30) Good night (8978) Bad night (1202)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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  (612): Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls. http://tfl.nu/jpdx
  Replies (15) Good night (3318) Bad night (1349)
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  (714): View more from California

  Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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  (714): Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume. http://tfl.nu/yo6q
  Replies (16) Good night (663) Bad night (2883)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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  (612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk
  Replies (13) Good night (1865) Bad night (680)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.

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  (734): I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons. http://tfl.nu/bvxd
  Replies (11) Good night (1160) Bad night (491)
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  (619): View more from California

  My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.

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  (619): My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine. http://tfl.nu/2kaz
  Replies (5) Good night (1380) Bad night (489)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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  (407): It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant http://tfl.nu/td2c
  Replies (9) Good night (418) Bad night (1040)
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  (530): View more from California

  I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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  (530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (519)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.

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  (713): Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style? (832): You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/9cao
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (854)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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  (773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo
  Replies (12) Good night (276) Bad night (613)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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  (509): i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot. http://tfl.nu/0579
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (287)

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