Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook