Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
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He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.