our cab driver is having phone sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
where are you?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?