Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize