just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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