Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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