There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I currently don't understand fingers.
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