I could have mohawked her pubes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
