So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
