I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
