I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
