"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this beer tastes like vomit already
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
