i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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