I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
