Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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