Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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