That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
