a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
