I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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