he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
