Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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