they need to just BURY HIM!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
