I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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