no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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