Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house