Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dating After Heartbreak
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.