apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.