I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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