we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
