I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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