Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
