I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
