Welp...herpes.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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