I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
