omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
