Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
