If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him āfuck meā eyes during a lecture a few times.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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