I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
