I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
