she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
