I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
