drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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