Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
