like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
