So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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