Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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