your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
His hands were made for my vagina.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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