i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
