Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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