did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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