Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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