Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I deserve this hangover.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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