You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
