I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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