So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
